A Fat Face and Hand Weights

It is unbelievable gorgeous out today. The sun is shining and it feels like Spring in January. Can ever winter be like this, PLEASE! How has your week been? Honestly, it was a little bit harder for me to get back in the swing of things this week.   

 Have you ever said or thought something about another person and then pretty much had to eat your own words? Oh man! I hate when that happens. I have been doing Zumba for awhile now and still love it. In fact, I tend to think it's an addiction but I will take this addiction any day of the week. It keeps me healthy, sane, feeling younger than I am and happy. As I have been going to classes I have seen many women come and go. With each one that leaves a new one shows up. Every once in awhile I would see women come in wearing weights. Many things would go through my mind. Such as, Do you realize what you look like when you wear those? Zumba is not that serious that you need to bring your hand weights to class.  

Then on Wednesday everything changed. I went into work feeling pretty good. I thought I looked, you know, normal. I didn't think I had gained any holiday weight but even if I had I was okay with that. 

As I walk into the double doors at work a co-worker of mine looks at me and says, "Wow, your face looks swollen." Um, OK. Can you please tell me how on earth do you respond to that statement. Thank you? As I walk back to my office I am thinking many things. The first thing I do is go look in the mirror at my fat face. I start feeling my cheeks and my forehead. I mean, I don't know, maybe I do look "swollen" aka like a fat a#$.   

Thankfully, I had zumba that night so it might help some of my 'swolleness' to go away. As I am dancing, I look over to see a few of the *hand weight* girls. I'm not gonna lie they're pretty ripped and great dancers and this thought goes through my mind... maybe I need to become a hand weight girl. So, after class I start talking to 'them' about these hand weights. I confessed to them about how I kinda laughed at people who wore them. They were gracious and continued to tell me how awesome it was. Plus, I found out just how many more calories you burn per class by adding them. Immediately, I thought goodbye fat face! So, of course, I left class went to Target and bought my hand weights. 

This morning was the first time I wore my new purple and black accessory to class. I thought I might die but in a good way. I don't mind hurting and pushing myself as long as I know its worth it. So, if you keep reading this blog {which of course you will} and you start to see pictures of me flexing in every one it's not only because I am getting so buff {thanks to my hand weights} but also so you wont have to look at my fat swollen face!

Happy Friday Friends!

xoxox

A Humble Beginning.

To say my first teaching experience in a Zumba class was a total bust would be the understatement of the year. As much as I had prepared {which was a lot} nothing could have prepared me for teaching an entire class by myself. I remember thinking, "I am really going to be great at this" and then reality set in one minute into my first song. Oh my: What have I done? I was on a stage that I hadn't practiced on and as much as I had practiced in front of my three little men it was so not the same. I was doing gyrations I didn't even know my body could do. I was doing moves on the off beat. How in the crap do you do an entire song on the off beat? {sigh}  I don't know if I could do that again even if I tried. Oh Mercy! It was so bad. I told one of my girlfriends, "it was like another person {with two left feet} had taken over my body and there was nothing I could do about it."


Yes, I got through the class. In the middle of it though I was praying that the rapture would come and that these poor women would be put out of their misery. Thankfully, they were patient and so gracious. As I left the gym and got into my car I couldn't stop the tears. I was so disappointed in myself. I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to go home looking like a hot mess so I stopped at McDonalds to get a Diet Coke {shocker}  only to have the lady not put the lid on all the way. She poured it ALL. OVER. ME. Not only had I humiliated myself in front of 45 people but now I am covered in Diet Coke. I was just waiting for Ashton Kucher to come out and tell me I was being punked.


So, I cried some more. For two hours I couldn't stop the tears. I text one of my girlfriends who came that night to see if I was really as much of a train wreck as I claimed to be. She came by my house with a new Diet Coke and sat and talked some much needed truth into my life. Thank the Lord for friends who speak truth into your life {even when you don't want to hear it}.


I went to bed thinking about how much I didn't want to teach EVER again. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning. I got up, went and practiced at the gym and thursday taught my second class. People actually came back. When it was all over I felt great! I had fun teaching and talking with some of the awesome women in the class. It just felt so much better than the first class. I was more comfortable. I was a teeny bit more confident. I knew people were praying for me. So, maybe everyone is right? When you fall off the horse you get right back on. You suck up your pride. You don't let failure be an option and you go for it. 


As you can see it's been a crazy week for me but I am so thankful. Thankful for people in my life who push me outside of my comfort zone. I don't always like it but man I need it. Is there anything you have been wanting to do or start but are so afraid of failing {or dancing with two left feet} that you haven't taken that first step? I really challenge you to take it. It will be the best thing you have ever done! xoxoxo   


{I wrote this next post hours before my first class but never posted it. Here, I thought I was writing this to you all but after reading it again after my first class, I was clearly the one who needed to read it. Enjoy}


I can remember the first time I walked into the class. Not exactly sure what was about to happen. The music was loud, there was a lot of women ready to have a good time. I stood in the back on the left hand side of the gym with my cousin. Within one minute of class I was laughing and realized this was what I had been looking for. 

I have exercised my entire life but never really enjoyed it. I would get burned out. I would always go back to running or doing a home workout video. I just knew for me I had to lose the extra baby weight from my sweet baby boy #3. 

As I began going to class I refused to miss one. I had felt so good after it, it was a bit of a drug to me. So, I decided to jump the gun and get certified. Truthfully, I don't think I felt like I would ever lead an actual class. I had always hoped to be able to influence and encourage others to be active but didn't feel confident in my ability. In my life there have been so many things I have wanted to do or try but I always have let the perfectionist in me ruin it. I have always been the one who cares about what everyone thinks. Even if I had 1,000 people tell me something positive I always would remember the 1 person who didn't like it or said something that was hurtful. 

Which bring me to 2 weeks ago when another Zumba instructor asked me to lead her class. She would be having surgery and would be out for 2 weeks. My first instinct was to say NO. Everything in me screamed NO but I felt like I couldn't say no. It was a trust thing. 

So, here I am hours before my first class and my stomach hurts. I keep getting hives. I have a million things that I keep thinking could go wrong. The music, what if I fall off the stage, what if no one shows up, what if I just freeze up, what if I just suck. 

I pray.

I read. 

I trusted.

Humbled by HIS grace and thankful that I have an opportunity to not only do what I love to do but to pour into other women. To encourage other women. To be used in a way that I have never been used before. If there is only one person that shows up, if I mess up every song it's okay. HE can use anything and everything to glorify himself. I am confident that even in my crazy zumba journey he will use it to glorify himself. 

"This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. "

Ezekiel 37:5

Life Isn't a Contest.

So, why do we compare ourselves to other people? It happens to all of us. For me, it is usually not a struggle. Lately, it has straight up smacked me in the face. I recently was asked to sub for one of my Zumba instructors who will be having surgery. Eeeek! I am very humbled and so excited to teach. What I wasn't expecting was the enormous amount of pressure I have put on myself. I found myself in class comparing myself to others around me and thinking so many lies. 

Am I thin enough to teach? Will I remember all the songs? Will I get every move right? I have never even taught a class before and there are people better in the class... will they walk out when they see it's me teaching. Self doubt and the comparison game can eat you alive. It's so easy to get lost in the trap. For me, it has been with getting ready for my first zumba class. For you, it may be seeing a friend get a promotion or feeling like you see everyone else moving forward and you're still standing in what feels like quick sand.  

Comparing yourself and feeling less than others because of other accomplishments/ the way they dance/ how skinny they are/ how many friends they have/ how big their house is/ how well their kids behave... is an endless spiral and while there will ALWAYS be someone skinnier/with more friends/ in a bigger house... this doesn't make YOU {or me} any less great!

All of us have God-given talents. We are all made in His image and that alone makes us special and beyond compare. For me, the best anticdote for comparing has been thankfulness. Learning to be thankful for the way God made us, in spite of all our faults. He made us perfect! It's time we start believing it! xoxox 

I Dare You...

Yep, I actually did it. Can you even believe it? You awesome women were so amazingly encouraging to me and all of the comments made my heart full and I am so thankful. Thank You for believeing in me when I doubt myself. The experience was not nearly as hard as I thought. It was crazy loud, lots of booty shakin, lots of laughter but 100% worth every bead of sweat. Sure, I'll still mess up {a lot}. I'll go left instead of right, up when I’m supposed to go down. Who even knows if I will ever teach a class. But for me this was more about going outside of my comfort zone. It was about putting myself out there and not really caring what anyone else thought. It was about, for once, going outside of my comfort zone and doing something I love and am passionate about. {Side note: Go seek out a zumba class and just try it. You will be forever greatful to me! :)}

How often do we set our own expectations lower just so we don't disappoint ourselves or others? This week I dare you to go outside of your comfort zone. Push yourself a little, make yourself feel a bit uncomfortable. I used to stop when I would start to feel uncomfortable in anything in life but I am learning to push a little harder, go a little farther, dream a little bigger. Wont you join me? 

Bring on the HIVES.

Yep, bring on the red splotches. The one thing that wont let me hide the fact that I am scared to death. In fact, I have hives even thinking about Sunday! Did you forget? Thats when I get to dance with a ton of skinny little ladies {and men} to get certified in Zumba! Yikes! I thought I would amuse you with some of the thoughts that are looming in my head about Sunday. 

1. What happens if I am the fattest girl there?
2. Will I fall on my face while the instructor is staring at me?
3. What if I trip over my own feet?
4. Will I be the girl with the SWASS?
5. What if they make me go up on stage and do the dougie or something like that?
6. What if I am the girl who thinks she is really good but in reality I am hilariously terrible.
7. What if I am covered in hives the entire 8 hours?
8. Holy crap...eight hours. Will I pass out?
9. What if everyone is in their Zumba gear and I come in with my glitter headband and 'So You Think You Can Dance' shirt. Will I stand out? 
10. Okay, no more 'what if's'? I will be freaking fabulous! Right?

How many of us can relate to the 'what if' fear of the unknown? How many times have you and I put off doing something that we know will be good for us out of fear? Fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of looking silly. How many wonderful things have we missed out on?

 So, here's to facing our fears head on and not giving into the 'what ifs' of life. We don't have time for it. This life is short. Are you letting fear hold you back?

This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda

Taking the plunge...

Do you remember this post? As you all know by now, like many of you, I put things off or say I will do it in a few months.  I fully know I am NEVER going to actually do it all because I am afraid I will fail at doing it. Kinda like the blog situation. I had wanted to start a blog for as long as I can remember but was terrified no one would read it. Look, you are reading and hopefully loving it! If nothing else one day my little loves will read all about their crazy but oh so fabulous momma so either way it is a win/win situation, right?

Which bring me to this.... I have been somewhat obsessed with Zumba. In fact, I am pretty sure many of my friends and family think I have a problem. Here's the deal. I lost ALL of my third child baby weight because of it. Many of you know losing the third child extra baby weight is enough to make you want to jump off a cliff. {not really but you get my point} I have always loved to dance and always loved/had to exercise. This for me was the perfect mixture. So, I have been going to classes for about 9 months now and love it just as much if not more than when I took my first class. It makes me feel young. It gives me energy. It keeps me in shape. It lets me dance. So, instead of saying I am going to do something and NEVER do it I want to tell you I am getting certified in March. Why am I telling you this? Because this means I can't back out if I get nervous or start to doubt myself. Failure isn't an option.

Here's the deal... People have already asked me when and where I will be teaching. I am fabulous and love to dance so I would want to come to my own class. {I kid. I kid.} I have no plans as of right now to teach BUT I am praying that doors open up for me to teach if that is what I am supposed to do. I want other women to enjoy exercise and most importantly enjoy their bodies. Nobody can make you take care of yourself. YOU have to do it. YOU have to take the time and put in the effort. As moms we always put everyones needs in front of our own. We have to take care of ourselves and our bodies or we wont be here to help everyone else.

I could stay on that soapbox for a long time. I will keep you all posted. In the mean time go try out Zumba and if it's not for you that's fine... just do something active! You deserve it and believe me you will thank me later when you are feeling fabulous and looking hott!