Saturday, August 20, 2011

A Humble Beginning.


To say my first teaching experience in a Zumba class was a total bust would be the understatement of the year. As much as I had prepared {which was a lot} nothing could have prepared me for teaching an entire class by myself. I remember thinking, "I am really going to be great at this" and then reality set in one minute into my first song. Oh my: What have I done? I was on a stage that I hadn't practiced on and as much as I had practiced in front of my three little men it was so not the same. I was doing gyrations I didn't even know my body could do. I was doing moves on the off beat. How in the crap do you do an entire song on the off beat? {sigh}  I don't know if I could do that again even if I tried. Oh Mercy! It was so bad. I told one of my girlfriends, "it was like another person {with two left feet} had taken over my body and there was nothing I could do about it."


Yes, I got through the class. In the middle of it though I was praying that the rapture would come and that these poor women would be put out of their misery. Thankfully, they were patient and so gracious. As I left the gym and got into my car I couldn't stop the tears. I was so disappointed in myself. I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to go home looking like a hot mess so I stopped at McDonalds to get a Diet Coke {shocker}  only to have the lady not put the lid on all the way. She poured it ALL. OVER. ME. Not only had I humiliated myself in front of 45 people but now I am covered in Diet Coke. I was just waiting for Ashton Kucher to come out and tell me I was being punked.


So, I cried some more. For two hours I couldn't stop the tears. I text one of my girlfriends who came that night to see if I was really as much of a train wreck as I claimed to be. She came by my house with a new Diet Coke and sat and talked some much needed truth into my life. Thank the Lord for friends who speak truth into your life {even when you don't want to hear it}.


I went to bed thinking about how much I didn't want to teach EVER again. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning. I got up, went and practiced at the gym and thursday taught my second class. People actually came back. When it was all over I felt great! I had fun teaching and talking with some of the awesome women in the class. It just felt so much better than the first class. I was more comfortable. I was a teeny bit more confident. I knew people were praying for me. So, maybe everyone is right? When you fall off the horse you get right back on. You suck up your pride. You don't let failure be an option and you go for it


As you can see it's been a crazy week for me but I am so thankful. Thankful for people in my life who push me outside of my comfort zone. I don't always like it but man I need it. Is there anything you have been wanting to do or start but are so afraid of failing {or dancing with two left feet} that you haven't taken that first step? I really challenge you to take it. It will be the best thing you have ever done! xoxoxo   


{I wrote this next post hours before my first class but never posted it. Here, I thought I was writing this to you all but after reading it again after my first class, I was clearly the one who needed to read it. Enjoy}


I can remember the first time I walked into the class. Not exactly sure what was about to happen. The music was loud, there was a lot of women ready to have a good time. I stood in the back on the left hand side of the gym with my cousin. Within one minute of class I was laughing and realized this was what I had been looking for. 

I have exercised my entire life but never really enjoyed it. I would get burned out. I would always go back to running or doing a home workout video. I just knew for me I had to lose the extra baby weight from my sweet baby boy #3. 

As I began going to class I refused to miss one. I had felt so good after it, it was a bit of a drug to me. So, I decided to jump the gun and get certified. Truthfully, I don't think I felt like I would ever lead an actual class. I had always hoped to be able to influence and encourage others to be active but didn't feel confident in my ability. In my life there have been so many things I have wanted to do or try but I always have let the perfectionist in me ruin it. I have always been the one who cares about what everyone thinks. Even if I had 1,000 people tell me something positive I always would remember the 1 person who didn't like it or said something that was hurtful. 

Which bring me to 2 weeks ago when another Zumba instructor asked me to lead her class. She would be having surgery and would be out for 2 weeks. My first instinct was to say NO. Everything in me screamed NO but I felt like I couldn't say no. It was a trust thing. 

So, here I am hours before my first class and my stomach hurts. I keep getting hives. I have a million things that I keep thinking could go wrong. The music, what if I fall off the stage, what if no one shows up, what if I just freeze up, what if I just suck. 

I pray.
I read. 
I trusted.

Humbled by HIS grace and thankful that I have an opportunity to not only do what I love to do but to pour into other women. To encourage other women. To be used in a way that I have never been used before. If there is only one person that shows up, if I mess up every song it's okay. HE can use anything and everything to glorify himself. I am confident that even in my crazy zumba journey he will use it to glorify himself. 

"This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. "
Ezekiel 37:5

6 comments:

  1. Aw girl!! I totally love zumba and would absolutely come to your class, all the while shakin my money maker to the off beat!! You are a doll with such a sweet spirit!! Hold your head high beauty!!

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  2. It is a blessing to know you and I'm thankul. Hopefully, by October is my early deadline to become Zumba Certified the latest will be when or if they will offer a class at the Vandalia Studio Zumba.

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  3. This post was enough for me to come out of "lurkdom" - I just started doing zumba and I LOVE it! Thank you for sharing in humility, what you have been learning through this process. You're not alone!

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  4. Where you said about it being true that you have to get back on the horse- it is. I ride (well, did before I had a baby!), and one time, I was bucked off not once, but twice, at a really big show. It was mortifying, but I kept my chin up, got back on, and kept going. My face was a crazy mix of red and dirt. I will always remember the feeling of mortification. And that feeling of stubborn determination that I wasn't going to quit.
    Good for you for going back, and I'm glad it went better. I think those moments of failure are those which make us that much stronger. Stronger than always succeeding every time we try.

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  5. Man, what a rough start. So glad it all worked out for you. Good friends and God, all a woman needs :-)

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  6. I am so glad you gave it another try. I laughed out loud about the rapture! Hilarious. We've all had those kind of days and it is good to be able to talk about it and know you are not alone.

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