Monday, April 2, 2012

The Weight Of It All

One of the many things that scares me most is allowing others to see my weakness, my insecurities. So, all my life I have had a tendency to hide the things I struggle with. I fight it internally, by myself. Last week,  I shared with a small group of woman my issues with weight. I thought it would be fitting to share with all of you. I am convinced its a battle of the mind. It's believing a lot of lies.

Exercise has always been an outlet for me. I have always exercised for as long as I can remember. I have always struggled with my weight and body image issues. In High School my friends would be eating Taco Bell and McDonald's everyday after school and I would not only not eat lunch {so not healthy} I would then go home and count my Weight Watchers points. I would go to meetings and feel so embarrassed because I was the youngest one there. 

The reason I say it's a battle of the mind is because even when I was in good shape I would always worry that I would start to gain weight. FearI hate that feeling. I thought the older that I got the feeling of being consumed about my weight would go way. I was wrongI honestly believe that many woman who are 'in shape' are consumed by it just as much as those who are visibly overweight. So, here I am telling all of you that I am trying to lose my winter covering that I have put on. Is it a major amount? No. However, you know the feeling when you put your clothes on and they are tight. It's terrible. You try on 10 different outfits until you feel good in one of them. 
Please tell me you have done this? 

For some reason when I am a little lighter I can put on any outfit and feel good. 
So, here is what I am doing. I am trying to not eat past 7pm. This has always worked really well for me. My happy place is around 8:00 when my sweet boys are in bed. I have a large Diet Coke in hand, I sit on the couch and watch my reality shows with a bag of chips, cereal... you get my point.

I am telling all of you because when I tell you I tend to keep my word.
It's called accountability and friends, I need it.
I need  to remember that I was made to consume food but, food was never made to consume me. I would love to walk with you on your journey. I truly believe that God wants us to encourage one another in our struggles. This for me is for sure one of them. Hebrews 13:3 says that we must "encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of us may be hardened by sins deceitfulness." 

So, please tell me how I can encourage YOU! As women body image and weight loss is a huge issue. Are you trying to eat healthy? Exercise more? Lose weight? 
What are you doing to reach your goal? 

  

20 comments:

  1. Maria

    I remember the first time I met you even though we probably were both Zumba dancing at Janae's class. It was at Leah's you were inspiring and sharing your first Zumba story. You were great. Also for how we had a fun time locking the doors too. :) You are a beautiful wonderful young lady and you are very blessed. Also, I enjoyed talking to you helping with April even though I'm pretty quiet at first. I'm more comfortable on a one-one basis but challenging myself not to be.

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  2. Thank you for sharing sweet friend. I absolutely just adore you. This post is exactly me, totally through and through. I have alllllways struggled with weight and body image. Always. Satan tries to torment me with lines like this "well if you were prettier then...." "If you were thinner the...." "Maybe you would be better at ___________ if you didn't feel so chubby" and on and on and on. But yet God is ever so sweetly calling in my other ear..."I love you dear child, you are SO very beautiful to me, I see you from the inside out and I love every single ounce of you". Have you ever read "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkuerst? If not, you should make it a must read! Thanks for being so vulnerable and willing to share what most of us are afraid to admit out loud. You are a blessing to me. Maybe someday we will be able to connect in "real life" so I can give you the gigantic hug that I am sending you with my words. :) Be blessed beauty~

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    1. Ah Meg, you make me smile everytime I read your comments. I haven't read 'Made to Crave'. I am going to check it out! I will let you know what I think of it. I have been looking for a good book that can breathe some truth in my life. Thankful for you sweet friend!

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    2. check out her blog too...it's on my blog sidebar *Lysa Terkeurst* you will love her! She is such an encouragement!!

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  3. Remember how beautiful you are. And you go girl! My biggest struggle is body image just like every other woman. That, I could use some encouragement on. :-)

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    1. Thanks Kenzi and you are just adorable! So thankful we have been able to reconnect! You are such a blessing! xoxo

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  4. Thanks for sharing- it's nice to know other women struggle/feel the same way as me sometimes :)

    Since our wedding last May, I put on almost 25 pounds!!! We just got so comfortable going out to eat all the time, dinners w/ friends etc. At the start of this year though I vowed to cut back on snacks and drink only water- instead of the sugary Mt Dew I love so much! I'm now down about 12 pounds from my 'heaviest' and would like to get back to where I was at our wedding.

    I've started running again and it's giving me so much more energy!

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    1. You are down 12lbs?! How fabulous is that? I am sure you are feeling and looking so good. I am always amazed at how much more energy I have when I am eating right and exercising. So proud of you!

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  5. I struggle with this a lot even though I've always been labeled the skinny one...I can't count how many times I was called a bean pole as a teenager. But still, I obsessed over my stomach and how it wasn't completely flat. Nevermind the rest of me would blow away in the wind. Even now at 33 God keeps reminding me to look at my whole self and not just obsess over one part of me. That being said, over the years, I did develop bad habits with sugar and was eating very poorly. In the last about 8 weeks I've really tried to go to a healthy diet...little sugar, whole foods, etc. In the last 6 weeks I've been gluten free due to other family issues (I've documented on my blog). I lost about 6 pounds and have kept it off. I'm no longer addicted to sugar although I allow myself some every day. You mentioned eating late at night...once I got off sugar, I didn't crave anything after dinner. I usually don't eat anything after we have dinner about 5:30-6.
    The part I'm failing at now is that I don't exercise. I was a gym rat a few years ago but now it's just a time issue since I've gone full-time at work. I know I need to do that for my body, not my weight.
    Wow, I'm rambling. Just wanted to say your post hit home.

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    1. Amy can I just tell you when my phone made the little noise telling me I had an email and I saw you left a comment I was so encouraged. I have been following your blog and your new gluten free diet. I keep saying I honestly think I am addicted to sugar. I crave it all the time. I could pretty much live on candy and be so happy! I need to really cut back big time. It's a little intimidating though!

      Finding time for exercise can be so tricky. I used to get up early and go walk/run. It actually gave me a ton of energy for the day and I didn't feel like I was sacrificing time with my family! Once you make it a priority you will find the time and you will be SO glad you did! I am rambling now :)

      Thanks for reminding me that God looks at my whole self and not just one part of me! Have a blessed week! xoxo

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  6. I love this! Because it is nice to know that there are so many other women that struggle with the same issues that I do. I am one to also hide my struggles because I grew up in a way that for some reason I thought it wasn't ok to let others know that you were struggling with issues in your life but you had to have that always put together perfect appearance. Thank goodness that as I have grown up I don't see that anymore and with the help of good friends and my relationship with God I now see that through my struggles I might be able to help someone along just as you are helping us along. But body image is still a big struggle for me and I'm sure for so many others too.

    So, I would love all the encouragement I can get, lol. I have recently committed to working out at least 3-4 times a week. And I have started a healthy eating lifestyle not only for me but for my family as well. I agree, I totally feel so much better when I am a little lighter and not only lighter but know that I am living healhier. It's always nice to know that someone else is out there making there way along with you. Zumba has become a refuge for me, I love it! And hate to miss it. But I would also like to find other avenues of working out that work for me. So, if you have any ideas that have been successful for you, please share!

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    1. Rachel I am so with you on actually being encouraged that so many others struggle with this too. I am so proud of you for making a commitment to workout 3-4 times a week. I will start asking you when I see you at zumba! :)

      I was just saying how I needed to add something else to my exercise. My body is getting so used to zumba that I really need to change it up a little. I have started to run but I really want to try some new things. I will let you know what I get myself into!

      Thankful for your friendship!

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  7. Isnt it absolutely amazing how many of us beautiful, strong women have this in common...so sad! We are so cruel to ourselves..there is no way we would even be friends with someone that treated us this way, yet we do it to ourselves daily. Thank you for sharing and for being so open! I myself am struggling with the same issue and hope the great big blog world will help be accountable. Good luck and I cannot wait to hear about your journey!

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    1. So, can I just say that when I went to your blog I was cracking up! I am TERRIBLE with grammer/spelling and have a love for all things reality tv! I am so glad you left a comment and so thankful that this blog world allows us to 'meet' and encourage each other!!

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  8. I am taking some meds right now that are messing with my weight... it's discouraging. But I know my goal is to be healthy, so I'm continuing to eat my healthy foods and trying not to worry about it too much.

    I think it's good to listen for 3rd person accusations in your mind... like You are looking chubby, you have no self-control. Those are lies that come from the Accuser who wants to destroy you. When I catch myself hearing that, I rebuke Satan's voice and replace my thoughts with the truth of God. That I am His child, that He sings over me, that He loves me, that He has filled me with His Spirit who gives me peace and self-control. I hope these words encourage you. You are beautiful. :)

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    1. Linda you are always such an ecouragement to me and you are SO right about not believing the lies. It truly is about being healthy. You are doing the right thing in not worrying about the scale. I smiled when I read your blog about your husband saying how he loves every inch of you! Aren't you so thankful that the men in our life love us no matter what we look like or feel like we look like!

      You are a blessing!! xoxox

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    2. Thanks for your encouragement, too! :) And yes, I'm so grateful for my husband... don't know what I'd do without him!! :)

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  9. Like so many other women I can relate to the body image issues. I have come a long way in the past 5 years, but I used to think I had body dimorphic disorder (when normal people think they are so hideous that they don't even want to be seen). However, while it is an ongoing battle I feel so much deliverance now. PRAISE THE LORD! I don't want to come across in a way that is not completely full of compassion and sympathy, but to be honest there have been times when I have read your blog and it's broken my heart. I've heard you comment on your thunder thighs, or muffin top and I think "wow, she is hearing lies from the enemy" I know because I've heard them myself. You are so stinkin' gorgeous and could be a j crew model or something. The media and society has warped our thinking into believing we should all fit the same mold. I encourage you in your journey to being healthy and to loving the beautiful person that God created.

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  10. My husband gets so frustrated with my body image issues. I feel so badly that my inability to take a compliment, my struggle to feel confident or beautiful, and the sadness that can then take over, affects him in a negative way. I am trying to break that cycle. Dang, it is a hard cycle to get out of! I never really thought about it being an attack from the enemy, and prayer is now my starting point. Thank you for this post!

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