Saturday, February 4, 2017

Truth be told... it's her BIRTHday not mine.

37 years ago today you laid in a hospital bed. I am sure you were scared and felt completely overwhelmed with what being a mom would be like. 37 years ago I am sure you were feeling anxious and clinging to Dad because there was so much you didn't know. 37 years ago I imagine that you sat in your hospital bed, gazing into my eyes and wondering just what this crazy life would hold for me. I wonder if you knew I would be your mini me or that I would have three little boys of my very own who think the world of you. I wonder if you knew that as you held me you would raise a daughter who would think of you as her hero. I wonder if you knew what a great mom you would be. I wonder if you knew that we would be the best shopping partners EVER. I wonder if you knew how as each year passed you would get more and more adorable and fashionable! 37 years ago you had no idea you would have a little girl who would be fighting for her life. 37 years ago you had no idea that as you gave birth to your first daughter she would be swiftly taken away from you and be in for a fight. A fight to see if she would be only minutes/hours/weeks old before having open heart surgery. 37 years ago you had so many people praying. Who knew, that Jesus would answer your cries to him and as the Dr. told you "miraculously" something {someone} opened part of the valve to my heart. 37 years ago they gave you a "miracle baby", one that you would spend hours on end watching to make sure your baby was breathing. One that you would take to many heart doctors for years and years to come. I wonder while the Dr. was telling you that your baby would never be able to have children of her own or play any sports growing up ... I wonder if you looked at him and shook your head because he didn't realize what a mighty GOD you serve. 


The only way I know how to be a mother is by having the very best one to teach me. One who taught me by holding me to a high standard. At the time I didn't get it but years later it all makes perfect sense. One who prayed with me and for me ALL the time. One who taught me by ALWAYS being there for me... always. One who NEVER missed a cheerleading, soccer, softball or basktetball game. One who cheered me on and was my biggest fan. One who bought me my first flute and let me try out piano lessons. One who taught me by always putting my needs before her own. One who taught me by giving so freely of herself, not only to me but everyone around her. One who taught me by doing so much for others. One who taught me by hosting giant birthday parties for me each year. {Yes, I saw the picture of the 10 highchairs set up for me and my toddler girlfriends}.  So much of who I am, Mom, comes from you. You inspire me each day to me a better mom, to pray more and to be thankful for my family. You continue to be my very best friend. I know I have told you this a million times... I couldn't do this life without you. Thanks for bringing me into this world 37 years ago.






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