Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Struggle. A Truth. A Love.

I wake up to start my morning, wiping the sleep from my eyes. As I get out of bed I begin to rattle off the list in my mind of all the things I need to get checked off for the day. I walk past a mirror and stop. I don't notice that I have really white teeth or that I am slowly starting to get my body in better shape. I notice EVERYTHING that I don't like about myself. I find fault in so many things. I find myself being not good enough. I struggle and battle my mind on a daily basis.

Maybe this just a struggle I go through? For me, it's easy to encourage and love on my kids, family and all of YOU! I can type out words of encouragement to all of you but for myself it's a different story. I always thought that after having kids this would stop. I would stop comparing, stop looking to others for approval. That I would realize that I don't have to be perfect or look perfect. That I would learn to be content and love who God created me to be.

As I struggle, I continue to cling to the truth of how God sees me. That I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I want to be able to look in the mirror and embrace who I am. Love all of me. Love ever freckle, ever fat cell that I have. I want the reflection in that mirror to be one that is of my heart not my body.

It's so easy for me to 'put on the face' of confidence but not truly embrace it. So, for me this is the real deal. The gritty grimy part of who I am and what I struggle with. The one thing I promised myself when I started writing is that I would be real. This is one of those times.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 {ESV}
9. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10) For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardship,persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Do you ever struggle with loving yourself? What are some things that help you? 

4 comments:

  1. This might sound weird, but for me it helps to think of my kids... I love that since my daughter came along I finally have a child who looks like me! I think of how beautiful she is, and I can't help but love that me being exactly the way that I am (flaws and all) is part of how she came to be.

    (BTW, you are ridiculously pretty!)

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  2. Alicia you are always so encouraging to me! Just wanted you to know I truly appreciate your comments!

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  3. Maria: I soooooo get where you are coming from. But be encouraged that you are a beautiful lady, inside and out. I think sometimes that we are so careful not to think too much of ourselves, that we start thinking too little of ourselves. We need to try to see ourselves, (and others) like Christ sees us, through His son. And there is no more beautiful picture than that!

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  4. Thank you Ricki! I am totally with you on 'being to careful not to think to much of ourselves but then we start thinking to little of ourselves'. There is so much truth in that! Thankful for you my friend!

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