Monday, March 14, 2011

The question asked around the world...

Are you guys trying for a girl?

{sigh}

That question has come to annoy me. Sometimes, if I am being honest it offends me. Why? It's almost as if my three adorable little men aren't enough. Like our family is incomplete due to the missing va-jay-jay. Maybe I am just being a tad bit sensitive or maybe, deep down, I want a little lady to come rock our world. Anyway, I get that question a lot. And while I usually like going into a discourse about how it shouldn't matter if we have five boys or seven girls or thirty elephants, I always say the same thing... Nope. Not right now. We are happy with our boys.



And it 150% true.
One million percent true.
Times twenty.




I can't imagine my life with a girl, now. We are so crazy in love with our little crazy men that I'm not sure we would have room in our hearts for another. Oh, who am I kidding? I know that there's always room. I truly just want what the Lord wants for us. For our family. To be honest... I struggle daily with what that is. I found out that 99.99% of our friends are 'fixed'. Which makes me question if I really want to be done to. I guess it's like everything in life. Whether your 15 or 31 years old you have different types of peer pressure. For me, for our family, we are at a stand still. {Which is okay} Could I possibly love another child like I love these little men? I mean, I didn't think my heart could have love for another baby and my sweet baby {toddlerish} little man has completely stolen my heart? So, maybe the room situation isn't actually a situation.  For now, we are content. What about you? Are you done popping out the babies? Do you want more kids? Are you adopting? I would love to hear YOUR story! 

7 comments:

  1. I can relate! When I was found out Noah (#2)was a boy people actually told me, "Don't be disappointed, maybe you'll get a girl next time." Disappointed??? I was thrilled! When we found out #3 was coming, part of me wanted it to be a boy just so I could show everyone how very OK and HAPPY I would be about it. God had other plans, and I'm glad he did. Not because I needed "a girl." But I did need my girl, because she's mine! God's will for my family (or yours) has nothing to do with the number of children of a specific gender we have. Give me 10 boys or 10 girls or 5 of each or 1 if that is what He has for me!
    You hit the nail on the head, you want what God wants. That is all that matters. Having five kids was NOT our plan at all! But we know we are following what He has asked of us in this area, at least. That clearly doesn't look the same for every family. Seek Him out, he will show you what He has for you. As far as our plans are concerned. Right now we plan to have #5 in August. :) After that, I have no plans mostly due to the fact that every single time I/we have planned on something in this area, God changed everything!

    And I say this in the most NO PRESSURE way as possible... Whether boys, girls, or elephants, there always seems to be room in our hearts for more. :)

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  2. There's no doubt that you would love another--somehow God always seems to multiply the capacity of a mama's heart. As far as whether God has another for your family, I'm confident HE will reveal that to you in His sweet timing. I agree with Emily, and have seen SO many times in my own life that He is ultimately the one who constructs our plans....just when we "think" we know how it should go, He usually directs us to something else. Through prayer, He will give you peace on whether He has a 4th child in the plan. And it may look different than other families. The beauty is that if God is in it and the decision has been bathed in prayer, then no decision is wrong....2 kids, 4 kids, or 10 kids. And if He calls you to something that He has directed then HE will fully equip you.

    For us, obviously we are adopting our 4th and it really came down to.. we have room, we have the time for another child (although humanly we sometimes feel otherwise :)), we have the resources, and we have the love...and there are kids that need families. But more than anything, God told us to go ahead....so we did. :) But, that decision didn't really come in our timing....it took a long time of praying to feel HIs prompting. I say that to encourage you that I will pray for your decision and trust that the same One who gave you your 3 precious boys will make it clear!

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  3. We just had baby #8 on the 18th of February. After 5 little girls in a row we were blessed with a second son. It amazed me how often people would ask if the reason we have had so many children is because we were trying for another boy for our son. Um, no. What kind of question is that?!?!?! Baby #8 is the last child we will be having. Even if he had turned out to be a she he would still have been that last. We weren't "trying" for another boy, but we are thankful for the beautiful little man God has blessed us with. :)

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  4. I LOVED reading all three of your perspectives and what is working in your life. You are all AMAZING moms and inspire me to be a better mom! Thank You.

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  5. I won't rewrite everything Emily said in her comment although that is how I feel too. I relate in another way. I have a boy and a girl and everyone says "oh you are so lucky, now you can be done." I guess people think the ultimate goal is to have one of each and you've hit the jackpot. It really, really is annoying. I always tell people, "No we are not done. Boys or girls we've always known we wanted more than two." Somehow that shocks everyone.

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  7. I can totally relate to this blog but from a different point. We have 2 girls and I always get the question. When are you going to try for that boy???? And also get comments as if 2 children are not enough and that I need to keep going(whatever that means) Well, for us we felt that 2 litlte girls were exactly what God wanted for us. Would we acccept and love another little bundle into our family - of course! But it is not something we are planning or trying for. We prayed about it and together decided that our family works for us and we are truly happy. I love my little girls but won't lie, I often wondered what it would be like to have a little crazy boy running around, but at this time I am content to know that God gave us exactly what he intended to and that is okay with me. Girls, boys, 1,2,3 or 8 it's all about what is right for you and your family :)

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