Thursday, October 7, 2010

Patiently. Waiting. Praying. Anxious. {all over a Penis}


Yes, you heard me right. I can't sleep/I feel uneasy/ I feel anxious/ ... all because of a penis. No, don't worry. I am not pregnant. If I was, I have to be honest would I be devastated? No. Who knows, maybe I will have 4 or 5  sweet little men running around or maybe I will just be thankful, hopefully, joyful and content with the three that I have. Time will tell!

We are on our way to take My Sweet Cole to Children's to meet with a specialist. The last time we were at Children's we had to stay overnight with my sweet angel. He was so sick. I was so frustrated. I didn't want him to stay. I wanted him to be at home with me not in a hospital crib with oxygen on him and a IV sticking out of his little baby arm. The one thing I can't get out of my head is how many sick kids there were. You know, I think we I take it for granted. How often do we actually take time to be thankful for the healthy children we have been so richly blessed with? I know I don't do it enough. 

I remember being so couped up in the room.  I needed to get out. I decided to just walk. I ended up on the floor where all of the precious children who are battling cancer were at. I can remember wanting to curl up in the fetal position and just bawl my eyes out. My heart ached for these sweet children who are so sick. I wanted to make it all better. I wanted to give them something that would make them happy and take away the pain. I wanted them to be able to feel like a kid, if only for a few minutes. I remember feeling so convicted. I prayed and asked the Lord to forgive me for being so selfish. I didn't want to be at the darn hospital. I didn't want MY little boy to be laying in the hospital bed with an IV. Here's the thing, my sweet Cole was going home the next morning. He would be fine. He would be laughing, crawling, walking in no time. However, I bet if I go back up on that same floor today, there will be some of those same sweet angles still fighting that terrible disease. Shame on us  me for not being more thankful.

My smiley little man and his penis will soon meet the Urologist in Cincinnati. I am sure he will be great and my sweet baby will be fine. Nothing major but he will have to have surgery on his penis. {when he gets older he is so going to kill me for writing about this} We still aren't sure what happened. If it was a bad circumcision or if it just didn't heal 100% correct. Anyway to spare you the details he will have to be put under and have his baby penis worked on. Thankfully today we just chat with the surgeon to find out all the details before we schedule his surgery.


Since my dad went to be with Jesus almost a year ago I get very anxious when I go to hospitals. They never bothered me before. I don't know if it's because his death was so unexpected and I spent so much time sitting, waiting, praying, crying, questioning and pleading or if in the back of mind I am scared I will lose someone close to me again. What I do know is this....

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." 
Phillipians 4:6

So today I will keep this verse in the forefront of my mind. As you go about your day I challenge you to do the same. Be thankful for the ones around you, this life is way too short not to love more, dance more, sing more, laugh more and pray more. 


  1. Enjoyed reading said it well...

  2. Thanks, Maria, for reminding us to be thankful! We will be praying for your little guy....and for you!

    Love you,

  3. You are an AWESOME and amazingly strong woman! Just keep praying for peace and strength to get through this time and you'll be just fine. I know that you know this already but sometimes someone else just has to say it for us. I love you!!!!!!

  4. I have those same feelings anytime we are at Childrens. It is most definitely a reality check as to how blessed we are! Thank you for the reminder.

    I will say a prayer for your sweet baby Cole!


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